In Every Heartbeat Read online

  IN EVERY

  HEARTBEAT

  Books by

  Kim Vogel Sawyer

  FROM BETHANY HOUSE PUBLISHERS

  Waiting for Summer’s Return

  Where Willows Grow

  My Heart Remembers

  Where the Heart Leads

  A Promise for Spring

  Fields of Grace

  A Hopeful Heart

  In Every Heartbeat

  Courting Miss Amsel

  IN EVERY

  HEARTBEAT

  KimVogel Sawyer

  In Every Heartbeat

  Copyright © 2010

  Kim Vogel Sawyer

  Cover design by Brand Navigation

  Cover photography by Steve Gardner, PixelWorks Studio, Inc.

  Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

  Published by Bethany House Publishers

  11400 Hampshire Avenue South

  Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

  Bethany House Publishers is a division of

  Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

  Printed in the United States of America

  * * *

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Sawyer, Kim Vogel.

  In every heartbeat / Kim Vogel Sawyer.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-0-7642-0816-4 (alk. paper) — ISBN 978-0-7642-0510-1 (pbk.) 1. Friends— Fiction. I Title.

  PS3619.A97I5 2010

  813'.6—dc22

  2010014686

  * * *

  For my soul-sister, Sabra.

  In many ways we’re different, but God made us friends,

  and I, for one, am truly grateful.

  Love you muchly!

  “ . . . the foolishness of God is wiser than men;

  and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

  —1 Cor. 1:25 KJV

  Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  Chambers, Missouri

  September 1914

  Don’t you dare cry.

  Libby Conley snapped the wardrobe door shut on her scanty belongings and spun to face her mentor and friend. “Well, I guess this is it.” Her throat tightened, making her words come out an octave higher than normal. How she would miss Maelle!

  She forced her lips into a quavering smile. “Thanks so much for bringing the boys and me to college. It was wonderful to have your company on the train. But . . .” She flipped her hands outward and angled her chin high. “I guess you’re rid of me now.”

  Maelle Harders stepped away from her husband and wrapped Libby in a tight hug. Libby closed her eyes and accepted the hug without contributing to it. If she took hold of Maelle, she might never let go.

  “Rid of you? Oh, bosh.” Maelle’s husky voice carried a hint of humor. “I think we’ll be seeing you again.” She released her hold and gave Libby’s chin a light pinch, an affectionate gesture left over from Libby’s childhood. “After all, you, Pete, and Bennett will be coming back to Shay’s Ford for Mattie’s wedding in less than six weeks. Mattie will need all of his groomsmen in attendance.”

  Libby nodded. Knowing she would soon return to the orphans’ school that had been her home for the past eight years had helped Libby say good-bye to the school’s directors, Aaron and Isabelle Rowley, yesterday. Libby could bear temporary good-byes, but she never said the word when she thought the separation might be permanent. She didn’t plan to say it to Maelle, her favorite person in the whole world, even if she knew it would be a short separation. She hated the word good-bye.

  “I’ll be there for sure. I’m excited about the dance after your brother’s wedding.” Libby caught hold of her brand-new skirt and quickstepped a jig, making the brown worsted swirl above the tops of her patent leather boots. She planned to dance with Bennett, and with Petey, too, even if he was a little clumsy on his peg leg.

  “It’ll be a grand time.” Maelle’s tawny brown eyes crinkled with her smile. She slipped her hand through Jackson’s elbow and beamed up at him. “As much fun as our after-wedding party was.”

  Libby admired the toes of her new shoes as the gaze passing between Maelle and Jackson heated. Although they were far from newlyweds—having married immediately upon Jackson’s return from serving in the Missouri legislature five years ago—the pair had eyes only for each other. Libby admitted to some jealousy when Jackson had returned to Shay’s Ford. Until he’d shown up, she’d had Maelle’s attention to herself. Closing her eyes, she allowed a familiar daydream to surface.

  “So you’re really going to be my ma?” The happiness exploding through Libby’s middle erupted in a joyous giggle.

  Maelle smoothed Libby’s tangled hair from her face. “Why, of course. I’ve always wanted a daughter, and I can’t imagine a better one than you, Libby.”

  Libby threw herself into Maelle’s arms. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re adopting me! Thank you!”

  “No, let me thank you, dear one.” Maelle’s cheek rested on the top of Libby’s head, the contact warm and comforting. “You’ve made me the happiest mother on earth. . . .”

  The sound of a clearing throat chased the fanciful musing away. Libby looked up to find both Maelle and Jackson grinning at her. Jackson said, “My apologies, Libby.” He tucked his arm around Maelle’s waist. “Sometimes I get lost in my beautiful wife’s beguiling eyes and forget anyone else exists.”

  Maelle shook her head, her tumbling auburn locks swaying with the motion. “Goodness, the things you say . . .” But the tender look she gave Jackson contradicted her gentle reproach.

  Libby clamped her lips tight as her anger swelled. Why hadn’t Maelle and Jackson adopted her? When Libby was ten, she’d asked Maelle to be her mother, and Maelle had lovingly explained she wanted Libby to have the privilege of both a mother and a father. But then Jackson had returned and he and Maelle had married, and even then they hadn’t adopted Libby. Now it was too late. No one had wanted Libby at the age of ten; why would anyone—even Maelle, who professed to love her dearly—adopt an eighteen-year-old? She’d never have the joy of calling Maelle Ma, the way her heart longed to.

  Maelle shifted to face Libby. “Should we go fi
nd the boys? I imagine Bennett is hungry by now.”

  Jackson held his hand toward the door, and Libby scurried past him. As she careened out the door, she nearly collided with two girls in the hallway. Isabelle Rowley’s lessons on etiquette rose in her memory, and she automatically excused herself.

  The pair looked Libby up and down before they exchanged a quick haughty look. The taller of the two said, “You need to slow down.”

  “Or at the very least, look before you leave your room,” the second one added.

  Libby folded her arms over her chest. “I said, ‘Excuse me.’ And it isn’t as if I tried to run you down. It was just bad timing.”

  The taller one opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Maelle and Jackson stepped into the hallway. The girl snapped her mouth closed, took her companion by the elbow, and hustled toward the stairs.

  Girls! She’d never gotten along well with other girls. They were too snooty or too prissy or too giggly. The condescending, scolding tones used by the girls in the hallway had sounded too much like the orphanage’s founder. How often had Mrs. Rowley berated Libby for escaping into a daydream or for unladylike tree-climbing or frog-catching? Libby had grown to love Mrs. Rowley, but she’d never felt completely accepted by her. Girls were no fun. Except Maelle.

  Libby clasped her hands beneath her chin and gave Maelle her best pleading look. “Can’t I go back to Shay’s Ford with you and Jackson?”

  Maelle’s brow crunched in confusion. “Why would you want to do that? You were so excited about attending the university.”

  That was before I met Snoot One and Snoot Two. Libby caught Maelle’s arm. “If I’m too old to stay at the orphans’ school, I could get a job at the newspaper, or even work for you as your assistant.” She knew how to operate Maelle’s camera. She’d spent so much time in Maelle’s photography studio, it had become as much a home to her as her room in the orphanage dormitory.

  “Libby, you know you wouldn’t be happy working in my studio.” Maelle spoke in a kind yet no-nonsense tone. “You’ve always wanted to be a writer. God must have opened this door for you, because you’re at the perfect place to learn the trade of journalism. Not every college in Missouri allows female students in their journalism programs, but here at the University of Southern Missouri, women can learn right next to men.”

  Libby already knew she’d been given an amazing opportunity, even though she credited Mrs. Rowley’s letter-writing skills rather than God for securing the scholarship. How she’d looked forward to sitting under the tutelage of the fine professors, learning the best ways to put words together to impact readers’ emotions! But Maelle had learned photography by practice; surely Libby could learn newspaper writing through practice. “I know, but—”

  “When God opens a door, you need to walk through it. Otherwise you’ll miss the blessing He has planned for you.” Maelle gently disengaged Libby’s hands from her arm. “Besides, my sister worked so hard to get these scholarships for you, Pete, and Bennett. Think how disappointed Isabelle would be if you just threw it away.”

  Libby bit down on her lower lip. Mrs. Rowley had been almost giddy with excitement when a donor agreed to sponsor the orphan home’s first graduates—their consolation prize for never having been adopted. She’d lectured the three of them endlessly on making the most of this tremendous opportunity. No, Isabelle Rowley would not be happy to see Libby return to Shay’s Ford.

  She sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

  Jackson stepped forward. “It’s understandable for you to be apprehensive, Elisabet. This is a big change for you—leaving your home and meeting new people. When I left Shay’s Ford to attend law school, I suffered homesickness and wondered if I’d made the right choice. It took some time, but I settled in.”

  Libby listened, rapt, to Jackson’s encouragement. Might a father speak to her in just this way?

  He smiled, reaching out to give her upper arm a light squeeze. “So you wait and see. I wager in a month’s time, you’ll love being here so much you won’t want to leave even for a weekend visit.”

  Libby’s mouth went dry. Not want to return, even for a visit? Might college make such a change in her? She swallowed. “Y-you really think so?”

  Maelle gave a gentle tug on one of Libby’s loose curls. “You should never squander the chance for an education. Not everyone has that chance.”

  Libby knew Maelle regretted her lack of schooling. She’d spent her childhood traveling from state to state in a photographer’s wagon, learning the trade. Even though she’d built a good life for herself, she had always encouraged Libby to study hard and take advantage of the education offered through the orphans’ school. Even more than pleasing Mrs. Rowley, Libby wanted to avoid disappointing Maelle.

  “All right. I’ll give it a chance.”

  “Good.” Maelle smiled, warming Libby with her approval. “And you’ll find out there’s no reason to be afraid.”

  Libby lifted her chin. “I’m not afraid.”

  Maelle’s smile never dimmed. “I know, Libby.” She slung her arm around Libby’s shoulders. “C’mon, let’s go find the boys so we can say our good-byes. Jackson and I will miss our train if we don’t skedaddle.”

  As Libby, Maelle, and Jackson walked across the thick, grassy carpet toward the ornate rock building that housed the dining hall, Libby breathed a sigh of relief that at least she wouldn’t be alone here in Chambers. Her longtime pals Petey Leidig and Bennett Martin were right here on the University of Southern Missouri campus, too. Those familiar faces from the Reginald Standler Home for Orphaned and Destitute Children would help her battle the feelings of homesickness that tied her stomach into knots. Even so, they were boys and their fields of study were different, which meant they all lived in different dormitories. It wouldn’t be the same as it had been at the orphans’ home, where they resided on different floors under one roof.

  They neared the dining hall, and Jackson pointed. “Is that Pete on the porch?”

  Petey must have spotted them at the same time, because he lifted his hand in a wave and began stumping toward them. The breeze lifted the fresh-cut strands of his thick blond hair. The recent haircut and brand new pin-striped suit made him appear as dignified as Jackson the lawyer. Libby’s heart swelled with pride for her friend. His peg leg—the result of a childhood accident—gave him a permanent limp, but the limp didn’t bother Libby. He didn’t feel sorry for himself, so she’d never felt the need to feel sorry for him. He was just Petey, her best friend and confidant.

  When they met in a patch of sunshine in the middle of the yard, Libby asked, “Where’s Bennett?”

  “He went on in.” Petey quirked one eyebrow. “You know how he is when it comes to food . . . he said he couldn’t wait.”

  Jackson laughed, the corners of his dark eyes crinkling in amusement. “It’s all right. You can tell him good-bye for us.” He snaked out his hand and caught Petey around the neck. The two men hugged and thumped each other on the back. “You take care of yourself, Pete.” Jackson pulled loose and sent a teasing smirk in Libby’s direction. “Keep an eye on our girl, too.”

  Libby’s heart swelled at his reference to “our girl.” Oh, if only she were their girl!

  “Make sure she stays out of mischief,” Jackson added.

  Petey chuckled. “As if I could! Nobody can tame Libby.”

  Libby snorted and glowered at the pair. “Honestly! As if anyone needs to tame me.” She shook her head and turned to Maelle. A huge lump filled her throat. She didn’t want Maelle to go. Her lips quivered, but she managed to form a small smile. “You have a safe trip h-home.”

  Tears sparkled in Maelle’s eyes, but she blinked them away. “And you study hard. Make us all proud.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  Maelle hugged Libby fiercely, and this time Libby hugged back.

  Maelle’s shoulders shuddered—was she crying? Maelle didn’t cry; she was tough, just like Libby. Then Libby heard a sniffle nea
r her ear. Maelle was crying. Tears burned like fire behind Libby’s nose, and she crunched her eyes tight to hold them at bay. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t!

  “Maelle, we need to go,” Jackson’s voice intruded.

  Maelle gave Libby one more tight squeeze and then stepped back. Libby hugged herself, blinking rapidly. Maelle opened her mouth, but before she could say good-bye, Libby blurted, “I’ll see you in six weeks for the wedding.” She grabbed Petey’s elbow.

  “Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Pete pressed his elbow against his ribcage, resisting Libby’s tug on his arm. “Hold on. I want to give Jackson and Maelle a decent farewell.”

  Libby let out a little huff of displeasure, but Pete ignored it. He was used to Libby’s huffs. It was the only girlish thing she did, and it was harmless. He stood watching until Jackson and Maelle reached the tall rock walls that lined the campus’s entrance. As he had suspected they might, they paused and turned back. Both waved.

  Petey waved with his hand held high. A vivid memory filled his mind: standing outside his family’s tenement building, staring at the window, waiting for someone to look out and wave goodbye. He’d stood for hours, but no wave ever came.

  He nodded toward Libby. “See there? How would they have felt to look back and find no one watching?”

  “Sad.” Libby’s tone reflected the one-word answer and seemed to pluck the emotion from his heart. She gave a feeble wave and pulled again at his arm. “All right, you’ve given them a proper send-off. Now let’s go eat.”

  Pete laughed as he turned toward the dining hall. He had to hop-skip on his wooden peg leg to match her swift pace. “I’ve never seen you so eager for a meal. You must have built up an appetite putting your things away. But slow down. You’re going to send me tumbling.”

  She stopped so abruptly he almost fell forward. He looked down at her, ready to complain, but the tears winking in her velvet brown eyes stopped him. He’d never seen Libby cry—not when she’d fallen out of a tree and cut her chin, not when Bennett had accidentally smacked her with a homemade baseball, not even when she’d earned a licking for climbing the rose trellis on the side of the school dormitory.